GONE!

I'VE SHIFTED..CHANGED TO LIVE JOURNAL.. IF U CAN FIND ME, GOOD FOR U.
IF U CAN'T, TOO BAD!..HAHA

BYE!

It's over and done
but the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to
instead of me tonight?

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
lost in the song
but if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight

I'm there at your side,
I'm part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've got to find your shining star«
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
lost in the song
but if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight

just came home.. i didn't want to come home so early today.. i dun really like the atmosphere of it now.. i'd rather stay out as late as i can.. argh.. anyway.. i've been pms-ing.. argh.

kind lazy to blog today.. becks asked me to change to livejournal..and maybe i should.. hmm.. i'll think abt it..too lazy to create account as well.. haha

tmr going nic's hse for pw..hai..pw is destroying my life.

then maybe after tat going with thomas go see electric guitarl.haha like finally!!

sian le..hmm..i'll blog more abt today...tmr ba..nites

the cruelty of life...

how life makes a fool out of me...

how life can be so pathetic on one day and yet so fulfilling on another..

how life tosses me up and down..

how i sometimes still believe what people tell me, when reality is infront of me

how i sometimes wish on a wishing star, only to find out that it nv comes true..

how i sometimes care about what others feel, only to find that i neglected my own..

how do i control my facial expression when my hearts crying out loud..

how..just how does all these occur in my 'oh so exciting' life. ARGH!

我活了我爱了我都不管了心爱到疯了恨到算了就好了...

你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心
还会不会寂寞..

..你说我是你最好的朋友
却不应该再拥抱着
你退缩你冷漠
于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心
会永远的寂寞..

when dreams turn to nightmares.. who will wake me up..

its been a tiring day. suddenly, the weight of the world's on my shoulders.. and i'm trying so hard to stand tall. but sometimes, i'm not as strong as i seem to be. exhausted. i can't seem to let go of u.. sorry. trying so hard..

exhausted. when i hope that dreams would true and it did, how i wished it stayed there.. instead of turning into nightmares that haunt me every night. who. who will wake me up.

give me strength to carry on. to get back on track. to leave my past behind. let these nightmares go away.

exhausted.

chionging gpp thingy... actually proposal to hand up on tue.. argh, then still gt EoM.. due on tue.. i wana die le. and the rash i gt.. doc said should be sand fly bites.. gross right.. ya fine.. hai.. so now i go out must either wear 3/4 sleeves or baggy clothes.. to cover up the scars.. argh for now till the scas heal.. hai sian



yest went to bishan to study with my LOVE.. haha but we ended up at delifrance instead.. i did quite abit ba.. i finished half of my apgp tutorial which was like due longlong ago..haha

just knew tat there was gp hw/research.. so i briefly went to do research on it.. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHETHER ITS CORRECT OR NOT. HAI. anyway... jon's uncontactbale again.. so i ahve no idea how to tell him abt gp and chinese hw being due tmr.. and the need to rbing entry proof tmr(though i have no idea why)... gab tell me de.. but gab msged him le..so shld be ok ba..haha i hope.. so sian sch start again..i've gt lots to catch up cause i missed sch for 2 days straight.. due to my sand fly bites..argh.! kies i had enough on environmental research le.. i shall do a little chinese.. and pray i dun fall aslp doing it..

caroline..i'll be there for you.. together, we'll get through it.. we'll forget all our unhappy moments. it'll be over soon, we'll get over it together. jiayou.

wads the point in making promises and breaking them in the end..

only fools would actually believe in these promises.. and i guess i'm just one of them.. fooled inside, out.. and in the end whose the one getting hurt..

hai hang in there val.. the pain will be over soon, u'll get over it... its just a matter of 'when'..

just hang in there..

vanessa rocks

didn't go sch today.. had some kind of rash... itchy sia..and i can't scratch...argh
went to the docs and all he gave me was some tablets and lotion..dots. hai.. whole day sleep and watch tv. forgt that i left my laptop on.. so its kinda super heated up now..opps. dinner was nice. mum cooked dinner.. even though everyone was having dinner together... it just didn't seem right.. i felt super out of place, totally couldn't get their conver and even if i tried.. there'll be silence after i said something. family, love.. i guess the 2 most powerful words i've heard of.. both so powerful and wonderful it may seem, but yet, family and love have just been making me so upset. argh.. its the power of love i guess.. <3

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.

today no training.. hai. so stayed back in sch to chiong maths corrections till like 5 plus ba.. then met up with jie at bugis..
we ate xiaolongbao for dinner...wah shiok sia!! haha both of us super long nv eat le.. lol.
oh and she bought me a wallet.. haha i'll carry it to sch tmr! whee!.
gt alot of hw to chiong sia.. sian
argh

18th july is sr parent's night.. and also my parent's wedding anniversary.. i think they'll suffer a heart attack and it'll be the worse anniversary ever sia.. argh. tmr gt gp compre test.. and i really suck at these things... and until now i still can't get how to do summation, this pisses me off. roar!!

reminder to self..
...
...
studystudystudy!!!

i've made a mistake.. a step to the right wasn't the right choice..
a rush of memories making me think about how horrible i was to u..
sry. i nv knew... i kinda regretted, but like u said its all in the past..
sry.

WOW.. its been a long weekend.. actually it passed like reeaalllly fast..haha..

friday 4th july, was jie's b'dae!! haha there was loads of good food. my mum cooked nasilemak and my uncle bought black pepper crab. haha shiok sia! good wine obviously came with good food.. jie opened a few bottles, its has been like 6 months since i last drank with jie..hai, i'm so so so so happy she's back.. missed her a lot man.. haha. that day b4 her b'dae dinner, i had training.. had a horrible blister.. painpainpain! so i kinda fell aslp at ard 3am plus..didn't hep with the clearing( gives guilty look...opps!) haha

saturday 5thjuly, had FUN TOUCH at sentosa.. haha super fun sia.. it rained a little but inthe end still gt burnt sia..painpainpain.. oh and the blister looked super red after game.. haha there was.. bern, becks, yuling, wanling and me!..hahah super fun.. super tiring though.. but i had super loads of fun.. oh ya..next week no training.. not playing for sat's match=(...its ok, i'll work hard!
after all the games... and watching the men and mixed teams playing(super cool sia...they play super fast! haha).. chermaine, bern and i went to bathe. the queue at the toilet was disgusting..lol. then we took the monorail and train back together..
i was rushing to go watch a singapore production with family and friends...'12 to 12' it was reaaallly good.. totally enjoyed even though i was tired from a day's games..oh tat day i wore skirt..amazing right.haha i found it super amazing haha.. then after the show we went for supper.. tat included: oyster, lala, gonggong, hokkien mee, chicken wing, stingray... its like practically the whole range of seafood sia.. haha! but the day didn't end here..haha yup there's more!

went to wab's hse to stayover..talked alot... gossiped a lot, watched dvd till i fell asleep.. haha we wanted to eat macs breakfast but obviously wab's and i couldn't wake even though claire attempted to wake us up..lol. wab and claire was spamming my msn when i was in the toilet.. haha and they said thomas looked 'not bad wad' ...haha.. he was like the only kutu online at tat hour..haha..


sunday 6thjuly, left wab's hse around 12.30 and went for lunch at KFC...haha shared a buddy mean with wab's.. super full! went back to her hse and played taiti(have no idea how u spell tat!).. lol. went home around 3 plus.. then had a mini pw meeting..then left for church le..

then after church and dinner... CHERLENE CAME TO STAYOVER! haha.. she went to pierce like 4 earholes in like 1 day..haha.. we watched dvd and talked and i was playing maple till like 4.. and woke up at 7.30 ba.. haha

and i was late for pw.. oppss. sry! had maths lesson at 9.30till 11..i was half alive.. anyway, after maths cherlene and i went hougang mall to carry out secret mission..haha which only she and i knew haha.. we also bought like super cute watches..haha! slept my whole afternoon..so tonight must burn midnight oil le...hai

tmr sch starts again roar!.. tmr gt maths, chem test.. and gp hw due.. hai.. tiredtiredtired.

this is where it all began..
it seems like its ended..
has it?

HAPPY HAPPY ME!

hahaha at cherie's hse now!!

and tmr cherlene's coming over to my hse!!

mid years was a complete flop, and i guess i've wasted enough time ...and it is time i embarked onto a whole new chapter in life. leave the past behind, forget all the unhappy moments, treasure the happy ones.. and of course learn to live life to the fullest.

when will i ever get over it`.. soon i guess. some may find me kinda stupid, i think so too. stupid enough to believe anything and everything that comes along. stupid enough to live in denial..
stupid enough to neglect my own feelings and hurt myself time and time again... stupid enough to love someone so stupidly.. just stupid enough to be stupid.. shit.. i have no idea wad i was writing.. dots.. nvm.

jie just came back..missed her so much, its been 6 months since i last saw her face to face. somehow i realised i've changed.. how, i'm not too sure yet, still trying to find answers to my questionable life..

i thought i could resist, but i still fell into the clutches of love and now end up nowhere..

我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情...

...♥就算轻轻的呼吸心还是感觉痛
没有你的日子里我变的好脆弱
轻轻一碰
彷佛就要飞走～耶～
口袋里的双手曾被你温柔紧握
布满思念的空气该怎么去摆脱
天灰的好寂寞
快乐悲伤被你左右
说一千遍我爱你也都还不够
就这样不贪心我慢慢的走
只要有你陪着我再苦也承受
只要有你陪着我再苦我能承受
说一千遍我爱你也都还不够
有一天我总会看见幸福的彩虹
相信你给的承诺我等候♥...

..It all comes down to how you see the situation. Two people can have the exact same life but one feels much happier than the other because he sees everything differently..

a friend of mine once told me that... i guess i've been making myself so miserable. i've been wasting my time trying to hold onto something which i know i can never get... yet, why do i still hesitate to let go, cause i can't cheat myself anymore. i still love u. i've been cheating myself about how i feel about you. each time i think about you..i land up in tears, tears of misery.. loneliness. and why?.. i myself don't know.
i dare not face the situation, i avoided it, thats how i landed myself like this.. pathetic. i bottled up everything cause i thought i could handle it.. i could handle other ppl's yet i was defeated by myself. its no one's fault i guess.. i just refused/couldn't bear to let go. you have decided to lead life as usual, so should i.. i hope this time i'm doing the right thing...can u tell me wad to do.. god help me, give me strength...